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Recently I've been struggling to make a decision about what I'd like to work on for senior portfolio. In concepts I chose to deal with a subject that was very personal to me - returning back to my Grandparent's old house which I spent the majority of my childhood. My project was recieved well in Concepts, perhaps not so much in Senior Portfolio due to the absence of speech following my presentation...but I've come to realize, and have frequently thought about, the way in which representing personal memories and feelings in physical form, like a drawing or a photograph, are never fullfilling or as significant to me. When I try to express my nostalgia for things past, I find that it tends to slightly demean the way I feel for that moment or place. Yet, even though I'm aware of the outcome, I'm still very drawn to the idea of working with and engaging in parts of my life that I generally don't share. I've also noticed that I'm not very interested in other artists who deal with the same ideas of memory and nostalgia. I found that Mari Mahr and Annelies Strba worked with similar concepts as mine, but I wasn't really drawn to thier work. Maybe that should say something about the work I'm attempting to create...


Ever since I came to VCU, I've always wanted to do a body of work that focused around my Father, Richard Pellegrini. I haven't seen or heard from him since I was 8 years old, it's quite a long and strange story, but I've always felt compelled to do something that involved him and the time my sister and I spent with him in Brazil as little kids. But with my conclusions about work I make dealing with personal and nostalgic things, I thought against it, thinking I should probably not attempt something I might be dissappointed with in the end.

Strangely enough - yesterday I recieved a message from my father, after not hearing from him in 14 years. My family always assumed he still lived in Brazil and that we would never really hear from him, but to my surprise, he found me and my sister- through Myspace. I'm still very unsure how to approach the situation - what would be an appropiate answer to a message asking, "do you want to be my friend?" and if I'm really ready to open up a relationship with someone who has created a lot of difficult and depressing times for my family. I'm generally I really outspoken, opinionated person, but I find myself speechless when having to address someone of little, but also great importance in my life. It's all still very shocking - my sister and I have talked about what we should do, what would be the best way to address him and our family that he has contacted us, but we're still a little taken aback by it all.

Now if I attempt to create work about my memories from Brazil, it would not be the same. I've known that I would approach it with a mindset that I would never go back to Brazil, that the information I could attain about my time spent there would only come from my sister and the part of my family that I still see on a regular basis. Now I have incite to the part of my life I was already comfortable with having left behind as something of the past that I never thought would resurface. It's all still very hard to comprehend, but perhaps there will be answers soon enough.

Nikki Lee

Nikki Lee came to the United States in '94 to study in New York, and found herself completely intrigued by the different subcultures and social groups. In hopes of understanding and relating to these different communities, Lee studied the cultures to adopt their sense of style, slang and mannerisms. She then proceeded to immerse herself into these subcultures for weeks, even months, as a person of that community. I admire her courage and comfortable nature when dealing with a subject matter that is generally taboo and often likely to offend. Her work makes it difficult to ignore stereotypes because it was easy for her to become acquainted with a lifestyle completely unlike her own. She merely mimicked thier dress and attitude.

I've always been interested in issues that divide people, specifically those dealing with color and religion - yet, I've never found a way to comfortably make work about my concerns without coming across as racist or completely ignorant, which I fear I might have at some times, even though my intentions were the complete opposite... I feel that Lee has found a clever and appropiate way to discuss such issues without giving the impression that one social group is better then the other - each persona she takes on is represented and portrayed to be as equal to the next. I greatly respect her work, find her images to be amusing and discouraging all at the same time, and only wish I had the courage to attempt a project as risky and intriguing as hers.